"What will everyone else think?"

Random photo that has nothing to with this post
I must apologise because I have been slacking when it comes to post about confidence and self-acceptance lately. I realise how important these post are and I want to get right back on it straight away. The post that you are currently reading is going to be less self-help and more personal experience...

I wanted to go natural ages before I did. What was holding me back however was - "what would everyone else think?"

When I think back now, I wonder if I hadn't made the haste decision to "big chop" one day in frustration, if I'd of done it otherwise. Because I remember sitting at my PC looking at marvellous photo of kinky-curly hair porn and even though I wanted those kinks and curls, I was scared about what everybody else would think if I big chopped. So I didn't BC I just stayed unhappy about my hair because I valued others opinion higher than my own.

I realise now I used people opinions and reaction towards me to establish my self-worth. For example I needed people to say "I love your hair" or "I like your top. Where did you get it from?" or "Excuse me, can I get you number"(LOL), so that I could feel anywhere near good about myself. I needed other people to tell that I was worth something and I needed to feel like I fitted in and not just some weird outsiders. For me validation came from comments, opinions, following fashions and having friends. But these things can only make you temporarily happy if you don't love youself.

So when I big chopped I did get a few complement (mainly from white friends) but my black friends and family didn't really say much. For the first two months I felt so ugly and for the like week after BCing I went to college with a hat on because "what will everybody else think?".

Big chopping for me was the start of a journey that was very difficult for me. I had totally change my mindset; I had to learn how to love myself without having any outside influences, I had to realise that I was beautiful not because anyone else told I was but because I'm a naturally beautiful person. But the hardest thing to learn was, making my own decision on how I feel about thing thats concern me and not caring what others think. I think jewelry designer, Rachel Stuart said it best "Stop asking permission to be great". So I just wanted to say do you and do what makes you happy.

Peace & love Photobucket

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